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BEAR BUYERS ANONYMOUS
12 STEP PROGRAM
- When leaving home, never admit to anyone, including yourself, that maybe you just might end up at a bear show.
- Rearrange all you bears at home so there is no room to slip another bear in unnoticed.
- Always wear clothing with pockets when leaving home in case you should end up at a bear show so you'll have a place
to keep your hands at all times.
- Never, never, never obey the request of a vender to "feel free to pick them up and hug them."
- Never make eye contact with a bear.
- Try to always take your spouse with you if you cannot resist going to a bear show. This sometimes works as a last
resort, especially if they're cheap.
- Never subscribe to a bear magazine. They may look innocent, but they're dynamite.
- Dieting to save the money to satisfy your habit doesn't work. You end up buying twice as many.
- Don't dress poorly in hopes that the vendor won't trust your check or credit card. They know bear people are all
honest.
- Prayer doesn't work. God loves bears too.
- Promise yourself that you will look at every bear before buying. This may slow you down a bit.
- If all the above fails, buy the nearest bear and "hug it to death."
By Bill Sneeringer
Remnant Bears & Furry Friends
Eureka, CA
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